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JCVD Cordially Not Invited to Bloodsport Remake

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Industry | October 9, 2012 |

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Industry | October 9, 2012 |

There are so many inexplicable things to dissect about this latest turn of events in the saga of putting a remake of Bloodsport onto film.

First, the fact that there is going to be a remake of Bloodsport is all kinds of confusing. Because some disposable executive thinks that years of special effects can improve on Jean Claude Van Damme doing the splits on a set of chairs and fighting while blind?

If it hadn’t been for all the screaming, he could have been Natalie Portman’s stunt double in Black Swan.

Second, the write of the remake is Robert Mark Kamen, who also wrote Taken 2. This is equally astonishing, because I had it on good authority that there was no writer for Taken 2. And of course, I find the the presence of a writer on the staff of a Bloodsport remake equally astonishing. My impression was that the original film was entirely an impromptu performance by the pecs of various actors.

Finally, here’s what Kamen had to say, explaining his rejection of JCVD’s dreams:

This film resembles the original in title only. It has nothing to do with any Kumite contest. It has nothing to do with Frank Dux. If the title was not the same, you would not associate the two films. To use JCVD would make no sense because the association would be lost as the story has nothing to do with the first one. If anything it would be a distraction.

No splits. This is a character driven, politically motivated film. It has nothing to do with splits or muscles or grudge matches and as I said, if the title were not attached to the rights, you would not associate one film with the other.

If the two films have nothing in common except for the title, then why are you using the title? It’s not like the name “Bloodsport” has some massive brand name appeal that will drag millions into the box office just by association. “Character driven” and “politically motivated”? Just say “gritty” already, you know that’s what you want to say.

Don’t get down on life, Jean Bear, this gives an excuse to post the greatest dance scene ever filmed:

Now that should be remade.

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Steven Lloyd Wilson is the sci-fi and history editor. You can email him here or follow him on Twitter.