If you’ve grown tired of debating whether or not It, a film about a shape-shifting clown that lives in the sewers and loves to terrify young children before killing and eating them, is actually a horror film, feel free to breathe a sigh of relief because you will soon have another horror film, or “horror film” to argue about on Twitter. Because thanks to the people at Blumhouse, who brought us Get Out, (another horror film that people had many a debate and discussion about), The Conjuring films, and The Purge films, we will soon have another reboot of Halloween coming to theaters. And not just that, but Jamie Lee Curtis will be reprising her classic role of Laurie Strode in this film.
You know, despite the fact that she was killed by Michael Myers in Halloween: Resurrection even though she herself killed Michael once and for all by chopping his heavy-breathing, Captain Kirk mask-wearing head off in Halloween: H20 only to reveal in Resurrection that it wasn’t really Michael but actually—you know what, it’s not worth writing about. Let the good people of Wikipedia fill in the blanks for you so I don’t have to:
Three years after the events at Hillcrest Academy, Laurie Strode has been confined at the Grace Andersen Sanitarium, after killing a paramedic instead of her brother Michael Myers. The paramedic had located the prone body of Myers in the dining hall of Hillcrest Academy; Myers attacked him, and crushed his larynx so he wouldn’t make a sound, and switched clothing and his mask. It was actually the paramedic that Laurie had beheaded. As Laurie drove the coroner’s van out of the school, Myers in the paramedic’s clothing walked out of the school grounds and went into hiding.
On October 31, 2001, Laurie, pretending to be heavily medicated, prepares herself for the inevitable confrontation with her brother. Michael breaches the facility and kills two security guards, decapitating one and slitting the throat of the other as he makes his way to Laurie. After a chase, Laurie lures Michael into a trap; as she attempts to kill him, Michael feigns confusion and pretends to struggle with his mask. Unable to risk killing another innocent person, Laurie attempts to remove his mask to make sure that it is her brother. Myers quickly gains the upper hand and stabs Laurie in the back before sending her off the roof to her death.
See?! What did I tell you?
From Blumhouse’s press release about the film:
Jamie Lee Curtis returns to her iconic role as Laurie Strode, who comes to her final confrontation with Michael Myers, the masked figure who has haunted her since she narrowly escaped his killing spree on Halloween night four decades ago.
Master of horror John Carpenter will executive produce and serve as creative consultant on this film, joining forces with cinema’s current leading producer of horror, Jason Blum (Get Out, Split, The Purge, Paranormal Activity). Inspired by Carpenter’s classic, filmmakers David Gordon Green and Danny McBride crafted a story that carves a new path from the events in the landmark 1978 film, and Green also directs.
HALLOWEEN will be produced by Malek Akkad, whose Trancas International Films has produced the HALLOWEEN series since its inception. Green and McBride will executive produce under their Rough House Pictures banner.
HALLOWEEN will be distributed worldwide by Universal Pictures.
So instead of John Carpenter or Rob Zombie sitting in the director’s chair for this version of Halloween, we at least have David Gordon Green to bring us his vision of Michael Myers killing many a teenager and shedding lots of blood as only he can. Granted, he brought us Your Highness and The Sitter, but he also made George Washington, All The Real Girls, and Pineapple Express so let’s just cross our fingers and hope for the very best with whatever he chooses to do.
And let’s also how that whatever David Gordon Green chooses to do with Halloween won’t be anything like this (with machine gun-toting Druids who look like Darkman busting Michael Myers out of jail. Yes, really. Just jump straight to the 5:45 mark)…
(That above clip makes it crystal-clear how Hollywood dropped the ball all the way from outer space and into the Grand Canyon in regards to not casting Busta Rhymes to play Sho’Nuff, the Shogun of Harlem in a remake of The Last Dragon opposite Alfred Enoch from How To Get Away With Murder as Leroy “Bruce Leroy” Green. Granted, we don’t really need a remake of The Last Dragon, especially since Tyrese would probably end up being the one cast to play Sho’nuff, but Busta Rhymes would’ve been perfect casting, as he already proved to us here.)
(No origin or backstory for Michael Myers as to why he’s really evil. Please. We don’t need it.)
And especially not this…
If however, Green brings back Paul Rudd to appear in another Halloween film, only to have him play Michael Myers and take a break from playing Ant-Man and trolling Conan O’Brien with his love of Mac And Me, I will buy all of the tickets on opening weekend. All of them.
Halloween is scheduled to open in theaters October 19, 2018.