Of course, most things in life right now are those you would like to politely (or not so politely) decline. You probably also ask yourself “WHY” about a thousand times a day too. But do you ask it about entertainment news? I THOUGHT SO. HERE WE GO.

James Marsden Signed On For A Sonic the Hedgehog Movie

Don’t worry, because the movie is live-action AND animation. I’m sure it will be just as good as Rocky and Bullwinkle or The Smurfs or even Hop … uhhhhhh—-yeah. I mean, holy shitsnacks, Marsden, you’re on Westworld. You don’t need this payday, buddy. Where did that sweet Cyclops money go, friend?

November 15, 2019: mark your calendars with something else you have to do that day so no one can con you into seeing a fucking Sonic the Hedgehog movie with a bunch of fanfic weirdos that draw Sonic gazing lovingly at a knocked-up Mario.

Paramount Wants To Make A Creepy Crawlers Movie

Why, yes. The rights for the “boy’s” version of an Easy Bake Oven that made gummi bugs and crap instead of tiny cakes is owned by a movie studio. Of course, they want to make it into a movie. What’s that? There is no starting point or storyline to adapt to the big screen?

A Documentary By Michael Moore About Tr*mp And Roseanne?

I know Roseanne. And I know Trump. And they are about to rue the day they knew me… pic.twitter.com/vW81Gq7s1i

— Michael Moore (@MMFlint) May 30, 2018

So much nope all in one place. I now look forward to the movie about a Privacy Policy that just wants to get his message out to the world, but people keep deleting him. LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, HOLLYWOOD.

Jodi Smith is the Associate Trade News Editor at Pajiba. You can email her or follow her on Twitter.

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