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Today's "But Why Would You Do That" And "No Thanks" News

By Jodi Smith | Industry | May 30, 2018 |

By Jodi Smith | Industry | May 30, 2018 |


Of course, most things in life right now are those you would like to politely (or not so politely) decline. You probably also ask yourself “WHY” about a thousand times a day too. But do you ask it about entertainment news? I THOUGHT SO. HERE WE GO.

James Marsden Signed On For A Sonic the Hedgehog Movie

Don’t worry, because the movie is live-action AND animation. I’m sure it will be just as good as Rocky and Bullwinkle or The Smurfs or even Hop … uhhhhhh—-yeah. I mean, holy shitsnacks, Marsden, you’re on Westworld. You don’t need this payday, buddy. Where did that sweet Cyclops money go, friend?

November 15, 2019: mark your calendars with something else you have to do that day so no one can con you into seeing a fucking Sonic the Hedgehog movie with a bunch of fanfic weirdos that draw Sonic gazing lovingly at a knocked-up Mario.

Paramount Wants To Make A Creepy Crawlers Movie

Why, yes. The rights for the “boy’s” version of an Easy Bake Oven that made gummi bugs and crap instead of tiny cakes is owned by a movie studio. Of course, they want to make it into a movie. What’s that? There is no starting point or storyline to adapt to the big screen?


A Documentary By Michael Moore About Tr*mp And Roseanne?

So much nope all in one place. I now look forward to the movie about a Privacy Policy that just wants to get his message out to the world, but people keep deleting him. LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, HOLLYWOOD.

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Jodi Smith is a Senior Reporter, Film & Television at Pajiba. You can email her or follow her on Twitter.