Why do people like Boba Fett so much? Even my husband loves him, so I cross-stitched a HUGE portrait of the bounty hunter and it is framed upstairs. I still don’t understand the obsession with Fett at all. Don’t come at me with novels, cartoons, and comics to explain him, because I’m talking about movies only. He’s a clone of his ‘daddy’ that spent his life trying to get vengeance for the loss of his father, yeah? And he is barely in the films.
So why is James Mangold (Logan) set to write and direct a Boba Fett movie for the Disney/Star Wars
selloutjuggernaut? There are literally TENS of character from just the movies that I would rather see get a standalone film before Fett. What are they? GLAD YOU ASKED.
1. PRINCESS LEIA ORGANA
Honestly, this needs no explanation.
2. Salacious B. Crumb
Was he always a brown-nosing little giggle box? What did baby Salacious want to be when he grew up and how did he end up with Jabba?
3. Jabba the Hut
It could be an animated prequel movie about his time as a baby slug or tadpole. Or whatever he is.
I think seeing a young Yoda would be like seeing Patrick Stewart with a full head of hair.
5. Admiral Ackbar
When did he see his first trap and what helped him identify it?
6. The Wampa
Two words: abandonment issues.
7. The Third Ewok From The Left In The Last Scene Of Return of the Jedi
What’s his story? Why didn’t he warrant a name?
8. The Stormtrooper That Clocked His Head On The Doorway
That guy has got stories, I bet. Stories that end up with him ass over tea kettle!
9. Wedge Antilles
I literally don’t know who this is, which means it would be a great movie.
Picture it: ALL SUBTITLES. ALL FUR. ALL — furries would ruin it, wouldn’t they?
11. Jar Jar Binks
12. The Dick-Fingered Musician Alien
I may have dreamed this one up.
13. Skinny Legs Fat Torso Singer Alien
Do her long lips help her sing or did she have to overcome them to hit the lower notes? I would love to know.
14. The Dude That Made Clothes, Especially The Metal Bikini
I didn’t see any Target stores anywhere, did you? But you know a guy somewhere had a business selling metal bikinis to gross worm guys and Jedis that like to feel pretty under their robes.