Hello, Miss Dawson! After the morning I’ve had, I needed some pretty to perk me up. Rosario Dawson stars alongside James McAvoy and Vincent Cassel in Danny Boyle’s Trance. Our lucky readers in the UK can look forward to a March 27th release date while everyone else will have to wait for their turn. McAvoy plays Simon, a fine art auctioneer that joins with Cassel’s underworld boss Franck for the theft of a Goya piece. Simon pulls a double-cross, Franck knocks the sh*t out of him, and then Simon claims he can’t remember where he hid the booty. Dawson plays a hypnotherapist recruited by Frank to recover the valuable memories in Simon’s head. DUDE.
Jerry O’Connell had his last show, “Mockingbird Lane,” cancelled before it could ever do anything more than serve as filler during the Halloween season. Now he’s set with a new pilot for CBS created by Rob Greenberg (“How I Met Your Mother”). O’Connell joins Chris Smith (Paranormal Activity 3), Kal Penn and Tony Shalhoub in the untitled project. Smith plays a twenty-something that makes friends with more experienced dudes in his apartment complex. O’Connell plays a, I sh*t you not, “feisty conservative and a successful OB/GYN with a booming practice who is in the middle of his second painful divorce.” Sounds like misogynistic comedy waiting to happen!
FOX has Conan O’Brien developing a medical comedy called, again I sh*t you not, “Bob’s New Heart Show.” Ben Wexler (“Community”) is writing the sitcom about a doctor that receives a heart-transplant and then moves back to his childhood neighborhood to do his doctoring in a family-owned practice. Apparently Conan’s production company is also producing the Rebel Wilson (Pitch Perfect, Bridesmaids) created vehicle “Super Fun Night.” This ABC show centers around three friends that are described as nerds. They try to have super fun every Friday night. I just can’t.
Starz has given Oscar winner William Monahan writing a series about crime and scandal in 1960s Great Britain. Monahan promises humor in the series, so I suspect Austin Powers makes a cameo. FINGERS CROSSED!
Finally, James Gunn (Slither) is adapting the Marvel comic “Guardians of the Galaxy” into a film. I know nothing about this comic. I can only report that rumors abound that Joseph Gordon-Levitt is in consideration for the lead role of Peter Quill, along with Zachary Levi (“Chuck”) and Jim Sturgess (Cloud Atlas). Quill is also known as Star-Lord and is half human and half alien. He has a ship he’s psychically linked with, a super suit, and he’s totally radical at fighting stuff or whatnot. The comic also has a character called Rocket Raccoon. This could be such an amazing movie but you would never be able to explain it to anyone without them thinking it sounds like a perfect storm of sh*t, drunken monkeys, and pickled assholes. Anyone out there in Pajiba-ville have some insight to make “Guardians of the Galaxy” sound not idiotic??
That’s it. I NEED UNRELATED HOTNESS TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY.