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Inexplicable Inexplicability: Animal Farm, Angry Birds, Stephenie Meyer

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Industry | July 6, 2011 |

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Industry | July 6, 2011 |

Apparently they’re making yet another version of Animal Farm, which makes it the second attempt in twelve years to try to top the original animated film that broke my soul as a wee lad. The dogs that kept everyone in line? Terrifying. The grotesque pigs? Made me love bacon even more. Poor idiotic Boxer, working himself to death? If any creature ever should have gone Galt it was Boxer. So now we’re getting another animated version, this time all CGI, and this time with Andy Serkis providing motion capture!

But … there are only humans in the story for bits and pieces, so what exactly is he going to motion capture? Will they make him pretend to be different animals? Poor guy just can’t get work without motion capture. They’ve probably surgically implanted the little motion tracking devices, and one day when he can’t handle not being considered for actual roles, he will commit suicide, and studios will use the motion capture data for CGI suicides for the next fifty years. Wilhelm scream? We’ll have the Serkis Suicide.

This is probably a better idea than motion capturing actual animals though. Think about it. Hooking up animals to computers and having them act out violent revolution against humans? That’s just asking for a Cows with Guns scenario.

(source: Cinema Blend)

The next inexplicable bit of news is that Stephenie Meyer has gotten a new gig as producer of Austenland. It’s being written by Jerusha Hess, co-writer of Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho Libre. THR describes the film as focusing on “a single, thirtysomething woman with a secret obsession with Mr. Darcy — as played by Colin Firth in the BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. The obsession is ruining her love life because no real man can compare.”

So, it’s autobiographical?

I don’t get what Meyer brings to the producer chair though. It’s a weird position, which is either filled by an extremely competent individual who gets all of the pieces together to let the director get the film done, or it’s filled by some actor who can’t write or direct, but is demanding additional credit and money despite doing no work. Oh, okay, I just got it.

(source: THR)

Finally, it seems that the rumored Angry Birds movie is actually happening. TK expressed the eye rolling idiocy of the project last summer when the rumors first surfaced. Former disposable executive of Marvel Studios David Maisel has been brought onto the project and he had this to say: “There has been so much chatter about an ‘Angry Birds’ movie, but it’s now real. The process is starting now.”

Oh well he seems humble. I bet he’s fun at dinner parties.

(source: SlashFilm)

Steven Lloyd Wilson is the sci-fi and history editor. You can email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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