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In Case You Were Wondering, Yes, Transformers 3 Will Out-Stupid Its Predecessors

By TK Burton | Industry | May 4, 2010 |

By TK Burton | Industry | May 4, 2010 |

No, I will not apologize for the header pic. Call it revenge for having to watch Human Centipede.

We will never escape the unending parade of Michael Bay-esque suckitude. Despite the fact that Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen was bloated, terrible, vapidly stupid and more than a little racially derogatory, Jerry Bruckheimer and company are charging ahead with yet another entry. Recently it was announced that a pair of actually talented actors — John Malkovich and Francis McDormand — had joined the cast. Now, word comes that one mediocre actor, and another terrible one, are joining the fray.

First is Patrick Dempsey, who hasn’t made a decent movie since, shit, I dunno — Enchanted? Which is one of those classic cases of a movie that was good in spite of him, rather than because of him. Let’s be honest — Amy Adams and Susan Sarandon made that movie. Dempsey was just window dressing. He’s not a bad actor, he’s just… kind of unremarkable. But he was recently quoted as saying, “”I start filming later this month in “Transformers 3″, which I play a character who is far more “dark” than others.”

Whoop de fuckin’ doo.

Even worse is the potential addition of Jamie Kennedy, who should be on every list of terrible actors that is ever created. Jamie Kennedy has only done two semi-intelligent things in his life — the first two Scream movies, and dating Jennifer Love Hewitt — and he even screwed that up (seriously, Jamie, you think you’re ever going to do better than that?). Kennedy is also unconfirmed, but I wouldn’t put it past Bay to cast him. He has a habit of embarrassing good actors (oh, John Turturro… I can never look at you the same again), and inexplicably using wretchedly awful ones as well. Other than George Lucas, I can’t think of a director who so successfully combines terrible talent alongside coaxing miserable performances out of good ones.

Transformers 3: I’m Rich, Bitch is set for release in 2011. May God have mercy on us all.

(Source: Slashfilm)

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TK Burton is the Editorial Director. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.