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In a Blow To Gingers the World Over, J.K. Rowling Reveals the Ron and Hermione Romance Was All Wrong

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | February 3, 2014 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | February 3, 2014 |

The great thing about Ron Weasley is that he gave gingers hope. He was like Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything: If he can date Diane Court, then by damn, there was hope for nerdy, kick-boxing, overcoat wearing baby-faced charmers everywhere! Likewise, Ron Weasley landed Hermione in the Harry Potter series, and after that, the percentage of ginger men landing hot women skyrocketed.

See, e.g.:


Or this:


Or even this:


You think that happens without Ron and Hermione? Hell no it doesn’t! Ron Weasley was a goddamn groundbreaker. He paved the way for every ginger man after him. He set the goddamn example. Ten years ago, if you’re a ginger kid in high school looking for a prom date, you had to limit your expectations. Now? The sky’s the limit!

All of which makes J.K. Rowling’s recent revelation so upsetting. Per Variety:

“I wrote the Hermione/Ron relationship as a form of wish fulfillment,” the author admits to British magazine Wonderland. “That’s how it was conceived, really. For reasons that have very little to do with literature and far more to do with me clinging to the plot as I first imagined it, Hermione ended up with Ron.” Says Rowling, “It was a choice I made for very personal reasons, not for reasons of credibility. Am I breaking people’s hearts by saying this? I hope not.”

Basically, she says that Hermione should’ve ended up with Potter instead of Ron, which is typical, isn’t it? The hot woman always gets the cute, brunette leading man, right? I mean, that just figures. And you know that right about now there are thousands of beautiful women that are questioning their relationships with ginger men. “If J.K. Rowling was wrong, maybe I am wrong, too. WHAT WAS I THINKING?”

“No, baby, no! What about Eddie Redmayne and Amanda Seyfried in Les Mis? You know Benedict Cumberbatch is a natural redhead, right? Come back! Come back!”

Damn you, Rowling. DAMN YOU.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.