An illustrious reader of ours, Kristen sent me this video a few days ago, and I thought I’d hold it until a particularly slow news day. Well, you’ve seen the crap I’ve already had to write today, so obviously that slow day has come. But worry not: We have some great reviews coming up this afternoon.

The song, a catchy little ditty by Dr. Pants, is called “If I Were John Cusack.” And if I were John Cusack, I’d stop being an alleged douchebag in public and I’d finally get off my ass and write the script for that Grosse Point Blank sequel I’ve been talking about for a decade.

Previous Article

Today's Non-Story: Anchorman 2

Next Article

               

They Don’t Make ‘Em Like They Used To

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

We Keep Saying It And It's Always True: Why Pratt Continues To Be The Worst Chris

'Borat Subsequent Moviefilm' Review: Wowee Wow Wow Wow (Plus Two More Wows for Rudy Giuliani)