"I Wonder What's Going On With the 'Transformers' Franchi--Wait, What the F*CK"
Quick question: How do you think the Transformers franchise is going? Aside from “What the fuck, Rebecca, it’s Transformers, I don’t care.” Is your general attitude towards future installations in the Michael Bay Does Baysplosions with Giant Robots series “Eh, I’m sure they’re over there being loud and stupid the same way they always were, but I don’t watch them, so it’s not really on my radar.”
Were you aware that there’s a fifth movie set for next summer, called Transformers: The Last Knight, and apparently KING FUCKING ARTHUR might be a character in it? Because I feel like that’s just weird enough that you might want to know.
It’s 100% rumor at this point, but according to Mashable:
Liam Garrigan, who plays King Arthur on ABC’s Once Upon a Time, is in talks to play the same character in Paramount’s Transformers: The Last Knight, Mashable has exclusively learned.
Michael Bay returns to direct the blockbuster sequel, which ties into Arthurian legend, according to insiders. Though King Arthur and Merlin are known to be a part of the story, the context of their appearance remains unknown.
Mark Wahlberg, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson and, filling the Frances McDormand “Gotta Get That Paper” slot, Anthony Hopkins, are in the movie as well, like you care. (I do not mean that in a snide way. I fully expect you not to care.) Heroes’ Santiago Cabrera has also been cast as (again, according to Mashable) the hottest possible incarnation of the wizard Merlin. (IMDB lists his character name as “Santos.”) Like Garrigan, Cabrera has appeared on a show involving Arthurian mythology, where he played Lancelot. This just in: The Last Knight casting department is just being fucking lazy at this point. Did anyone else watch Merlin? What stupid, delightful trash that was. #MorganaDeservedBetter My reaction to this Transformers news can be summed up thusly:
Consider that you fill of Transformers coverage for the next five years, unless The Last Knight does something stupid like a statutory rape LOLOL scene. (Prediction: It will.) We now return to your regularly scheduled program of Michael Jackson appreciation.