I Will Not Make a Joke About Blaculas
Will Smith has decided to produce and star in The Legend of Cain.
Why? Because he’s looking to monopolize the market on “Legend” films. Or because the writer is Caleeb Pinkett. Or just because he can.
What is it? A retelling of the biblical story of Cain and Abel.
Well that sounds a little weird, Is it something people would go see? Oh. I forgot to mention it’s going to have vampires.
The story is pretty old. Adam and Eve have Cain and Abel. Cain gets jealous. Cain kills Abel. How do vampires fit in? I’m a little foggy on that detail but if 12 years of going to Lutheran school is ever going to pay off it’ll be now. I’m theorizing that they’ll say the “Mark” that God placed upon Cain will be his vampirism.
I’m not entirely sure whose blood he’ll be sucking but I’m reminded of Rod and Tod Flanders asking “Did they make babies with their mother? Or with each other?”
Still waiting for an answer on that one.
What do you think of the project? Potential? Or do we need to call in Jefferson Twilight to kill this before it goes too far?