I don’t… what… there’s…

OK.

So. There’s a movie coming out called Humpty Dumpty. It’s not based on the nursery rhyme, thank goodness. Instead, according to Variety, it’s a “3-D sci-fi horror pic… about a half-human, half-alien creature who embarks on a murderous rampage after his alien mother is abused by two rednecks in the Deep South.” It’s directed by David Ellis, most notably responsible for Snakes on a Plane. Now, Snakes on a Plane was pretty fucking stupid — but I’ll give it this: when the snakes first burst out of the cargo bins (and every other damn crevice of the plane), it’s almost transcendentally awesome. It’s about 15-20 minutes of raw panic, carnage and hilarity. It’s also pretty much the only decent part of the movie.

I admit, the premise sounds like good, not-so-clean, B-movie idiotic fun. If Ellis can do it right, it might be a little slice of horror joy. If wrong, it’ll make my soul weep. We’ll see. Of course, this is a convenient excuse to post this again:

Ah, network dubbing. An endless source of amusement.

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TK Burton is the Editorial Director. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.