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How Could You, You Bastard? How Could You Do This To Me?

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | June 1, 2011 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | June 1, 2011 |

How could this happen?! (*slides papers off desk*). Why? Why? (*picks up file cabinet, throws it through window*). How could you do this to me, after six wonderful years together? Why would you leave me? (*picks up TV, smashes head through plasma screen*). DO I MEAN NOTHING TO YOU! What about all those late nights in the E.R.? When you were massaging some dude’s brain and I was massaging myself. Remember how you did with that scrunchy Zellwegger looking girl? And then you didn’t. And then you did again? Why you gotta do me this way? WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR LOVE? (*runs into traffic, jumps on hood of moving car, kicks in front window, fuckstarts some guy’s head*). We had something together, you and I? Don’t you leave on me, Foley? You’re too pretty not to be on my teevee every week and three times on DVR replays. Damn you. Damn you, McDreamy. Don’t you abandon me. Don’t you leave me like Rainbow Killer left me. Like the gay guy that everyone has already forgotten about. Like the homophobic dude that everyone has already forgotten about. And the lesbian character? What was her name? Who knows. (Who is left on this show, anyway? Is the Chief still there?)

What matters is that McDreamy may be leaving at the end of next season of “Grey’s Anatomy,” and how will I go on? How will you go on, America? What will we do without that guy from the movie where he rode away into the sunset on a lawn mower on our television every week? Where will our McDreams go? Why does God hate us so? No, TV Overlords. NO! (*shrugs*)

(Source: THR)

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.