Hollywood Asks Us To Believe That Someone Would Cheat On Christina Hendricks And Other Trade News To Butter Your Nut Squash
Hey kids, this sort of trade news round-up is usually the speciality of TK or Dustin, so please forgive me if it lacks a certain je ne sais c*ck. So whether it makes you fume or swoon, here’s the latest trade news:
- Christina Hendricks has been cast in an ensemble film by Leaving Las Vegas director Mike Figgis. The film, Seconds of Pleasure, is a series of vignettes set mostly on an airplane (interesting premise). Brendan Fraser will co-star as the man who cheats on Hendricks (preposterous premise) and will be joined by Julia Stiles, Matt Dillon, Sarah Jessica Parker, Pierce Brosnan and Kristen Scott Thomas. Scott Thomas’s presence makes me believe this is not some sort of Valentine’s Day hokum. [Deadline]
- Casting has begun on the sequel to Silent Hill, which is unimaginatively titled Silent Hill: Revelations and will be filmed in 3D (because of course it will). The lead role has gone to the relatively unknown Adelaide Clemens who had a bit role in X-Men Origins: Wolverine and will have a more prominent one in the upcoming Mad Max: Fury Road. Sean Bean is in negotations to reprise his role as “Harry” from the first film. [Bloody Disgusting]
- In potentially game-changing news, Netflix has picked up two seasons of Kevin Spacey and David Fincher’s new television series “House of Cards.” So this new series (starring Spacey and based on the British political thriller series of the same name) will not be shown on HBO or AMC, but exclusively on Netflix. Very interesting, non? [NY Mag]
- In light of the dismal performance of Robert Zemeckis’s Mars Needs Moms, Disney is sh*t-canning his Yellow Submarine remake. Disney claims the project was already in trouble, but I think we owe Mars Needs Moms stars Seth Green and Dan Fogler a big thank you and a frosty beverage or two for sparing us this travesty. [THR]
- HBO is producing a Lizzie Borden miniseries starring, wait for it, Chloe Sevigny (aka the craziest sister on the compound). This is the most perfect casting I have heard in a while. In case you don’t know, let me loosely summarize the plot for you: “Lizzie Borden took an axe, and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one.” The four-hour miniseries will focus on the murders and subsequent trial. [Digital Spy]
- There’s a new image of and plot synopsis for Captain America: The First Avenger. I seem to be a bit in the minority with my excitement for this film, but I’m not a comic book person, so I’ll trust you nerds and remain wary. The synopsis is as follows: Captain America: The First Avenger will focus on the early days of the Marvel Universe when Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) volunteers to participate in an experimental program that turns him into the Super Soldier known as Captain America. As Captain America, Rogers joins forces with Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan) and Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell) to wage war on the evil HYDRA organization, led by the villainous Red Skull (Hugo Weaving.) Well, I think we pretty much already knew that, but thanks. The image, of a bloody-lipped Chris Evans, is below. Big fan. Why wouldn’t I be? [Superhero Movie News]
- Lastly, here’s the trailer for the new Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts romcom Larry Crowne. Stop! Before you run away, remember how fun it is when Tom Hanks is in a comedy. Also, the plot is basically an homage (don’t call it a rip-off) to “Community.” Seriously, if you don’t automatically shut it off when “Soul Sister” starts playing, you’re in for a treat.
Am I crazy? Cute, right? Oh, shove it, I gave you your horror movie news, allow me this.
Joanna Robinson is a little overwhelmed whenever a new “image” from a film is released. I mean, okay, a trailer, yes. But an image? But then she always ends up clicking on the link anyway. Curiosity slaughters both cats and dignity.