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You Never Should've Saved the Cheerleader

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | July 30, 2009 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | July 30, 2009 |

Before we roll the clip, I know we have a lot of Philly folks in Pajiba-land, many of whom are undoubtedly Phillies fans. And I just want to take a small moment this morning to get something off my chest. And it is this: Fuck You.

Cliff Lee? Cliff fucking Lee? Are you serious? He’s from my hometown. I was friends with his older brother. His Dad was my fucking Little League coach. And now he’s playing for the goddamn motherfucking Philadelphia Bitch-Ass Phillies. Choke on a cheese steak, assholes.

I feel much better.

I know that “Heroes” isn’t a particularly popular show around these parts anymore, but I also know that, though many of you absolutely detest it, you’re still clinging to it in the hopes that it will improve, that perhaps it will return to its first-season form. I seriously doubt it’s going to happen, folks, especially since I understand that Bryan Fuller has once again left the show.

Here’s a three-minute preview for the next season, which might build up your hopes a little so that “Heroes” can properly dash them once the season begins. I quit watching mid-way through season two, but I notice from the preview that there are people in it who I seem to recall had died. Here’s some advice, “Heroes” showrunners: Kill off a few people. And keep them dead, for God’s sake. There’s too many goddamn characters in your show, and no time to develop any feelings for any of them. There’s too much going on, and yet, nothing seems to happen.

Here’s another piece of advice: Stop making shitty episodes.

Here’s the preview. If you’re from Philly, choke on it:

The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett | A Serious Man Trailer

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.