Many of you may recall that Henry Cavill, while doing reshoots for Justice League, was contractually prohibited from shaving his glorious mustache, so it had to be digitally removed. It sounded like a petty move from Paramount to keep its star from shaving his Mission Impossible — Fallout mustache, but I am here to tell you all: It was worth it. Whatever hard feelings it might have engendered between the two studios, and however much it might have cost Justice League to remove Cavill’s mustache: It. Was. Worth. It.
Moustachegate was worth it guys. pic.twitter.com/HziIiyXXpf— Tom Butler (@TomButler) February 5, 2018
Look at that fine-ass lip caterpillar, y’all. I bet that bad boy just soaks up the sprays of blood from his fists. That is not a kidding around mustache, people. It is the real deal. Cavill appears to play the villain here, and that is a villainous mustache. That is a mustache that will seduce you, provide you with the lay of your life, and then kill you in your sleep. Paramount was smart to make him keep it. Every little mustache hair is perfect. It is raw, upper-lip manhood. It commands your respect. That mustache is the real Superman, and clearly the source of all of Henry Cavill’s power.
We are all in awe. That is a mustache that deserves its own publicist. Someone should freeze it in case we ever run into one of those Children of Men type situations: That mustache could solve world infertility.
Oh, and here’s the full-length trailer for Mission Impossible — Fallout.
It is Henry Cavill’s mustache’s world, y’all. We’re just living in it.