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Hey! It's the Fast One. I Can Tell. Cause of the Lightning Bolt!

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | February 26, 2010 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | February 26, 2010 |

The LA Times’ Steven Zeitchik may have pulled this out of his ass, so take it with a grain of fecal matter. So, apparently there are several names being bandied about to direct the sequel to Paranormal Activity (after the dude who directed one of the Saw movies was yanked back into the Saw franchise by those bitchy execs at Lionsgate who are suddenly skeered of the Paranormal juggernaut). Two of those names are young whippersnappers that wouldn’t warrant writing this post: Brad Anderson (Transsiberian) and Greg McLean (Wolf Creek).

The other name: Brian DePalma, the director of Scarface, Mission Impossible, Dressed to Kill and The Untouchables.

Either this is complete bullshit, or DePalma has fallen way the fuck from grace. It’s especially hard to swallow considering that the studio wants this film in theaters in time for Halloween, so it can go up against Saw VXL. That’s seven months away. And there’s still no director. And it’s not like DePalma is a quick worker or anything. At his age (he’s 70), by the time he’s finished his morning constitutional and rid himself of his bathrobe, it’s time for the early bird special and a nap. And given just how awful The Black Dahlia was (and holyshitohmygoditwasawful), I’m not sure that DePalma even deserves to helm a horror-film sequel that has all the promise of Blair Witch 2. So, don’t hold your breath, y’all.

(Source: The LA Times)

In other news of the directing nature, rumor has it that Warner Brothers is pushing ahead with a movie based on their comic-book property, The Flash, and that there are several directors being considered, foremost among them Greg Berlanti, who is basically only known so far for penning the script to The Green Lantern. Personally, I thought it was strange that another director was being floated for The Flash, when just two days ago TK was talking about Breck Eisner directing it, but then I realized that was Flash Gordon. And even after a good belittling from TK, I can’t tell them apart. One’s fast. One’s really fast? Seriously, I’m supposed to know something about a dude from the planet Mongo where he does battle with a dude named Ming the Merciless? That sounds like a Chris Kattan movie to me.

Oh wait, I know how to tell them apart: The Flash was in “Superfriends,” and Flash Gordon had a lot of Queen songs. Right?

Yeah. Don’t tell me I don’t know enough about comic books to run a movie blog. Pffft.

Wouldn’t it be cool, though, if the Flash ran really fast to the music of Queen?


(Can y’all feel the vein in TK’s forehead bulging? I think I’ll shut up now while my ass still doesn’t have a bar stool crammed up it.)

(Source: IESB)

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.