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Nic: You're Young and You Got your Health, What You Want with a Job?

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | July 21, 2009 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | July 21, 2009 |

What has it been now, a full two months since Nic Cage signed on to another movie? Is that a record? I suppose even Cage has his limits — you can’t whore yourself in two places at one time.

Unfortunately, the 60-day dry streak is ending, and Cage’s quest to get 100 credits on his iMDB profile before he turns 50 continues (only 39 more to go over the next five years — that’s just 8 movies a year. No sweat.) Cage is currently negotiating to come aboard The Green Hornet as the gangster villain. Remember The Green Hornet, that movie we were pretty excited about when Stephen Chow was directing and co-starring as the sidekick to Seth Rogen’s Green Hornet (Rogen also wrote the script with his partner, Evan Goldberg).

Well, it’s getting a little less exciting the closer it gets to filming. Stephen Chow first dropped out as the director and, later, as the Kato sidekick, so that spot needs to be filled. Michel Gondry took over directing duties, which is great because when we think of Gondry, we think of Eternal Sunshine, but we usually also overlook Be Kind Rewind, which was kind of a stupid ball of donut mess. And quite honestly, Seth Rogen, Michel Gondry, and superhero movie are a weird trio of flavors — like dippin dots, fajitas, and antacid.

Anyway, it’s gotten a little less exciting over the last couple of days, as reports are coming in that Cameron Diaz will play a reporter and love interest (Diaz and Rogen? Egads. Skinny Rogen is even less bangable than pudgy Rogen) and now, Cage will play the gangster villain. Because Nic Cage just screams gangster. Maybe his head will catch on fire, too. Hell, the project is already going to hell, so why not just merge it with the planned sequel to Ghost Rider and the eventual Michael Jackson biopic. A moon-walking, freak-show gangster whose hair catches fire whenever he drinks Pepsi.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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