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Good News Everybody! All the Television Shows You Hate are Breeding

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Industry | January 26, 2012 |

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Industry | January 26, 2012 |

I’m doing my usual little perusal for trade news that might pique your interest and mine, and found an unusual and disturbing pattern. There are a lot of new television shows getting picked up. And all of them are terrible. I figure if I detail them all in this post, that’s like containing the damage, it’s this post tossing its supple and vulnerable self atop the claymore. And so, let’s get to it:

Grey’s Anatomy producer Mark Gordon has yet another show going to pilot (he already has 13 shows on television right now). It’s called “White Man Van” and is described as centering “on a man who is forced to put his dreams on hold in order to take over the family handyman business from his father.” I bet all of Dustin’s worldly possessions that the first full description uses the word “quirky.”

Is it possible for the details to be worse than the headline “Simon Cowell Developing DJ Talent Search Show”? I think his next variation on a talent search show for something to do with music should be a talent search show searching for the world’s best talent search host.

Remember “Firefly”? “Gossip Girl” is airing its hundredth episode next week. Because fuck you, that’s why.

Here’s a sneak peak of Bravo’s new reality show called “Shahs of Sunset” which focuses on a group of rich Persians living in Beverly Hills. Will it attempt to be a nuanced view of what it is like to be Muslim in America today? Will it explore the conflict between Iranian culture and American wealth? I will let the dialogue speak for itself: “I don’t like ants, аnd I don’t like ugly people.”

I realize that I can see that suicide is painless…

Steven Lloyd Wilson is the sci-fi and history editor. You can email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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