1. Rupert Wyatt (Rise of the Planet of the Apes) has exited the Charming Potato led Gambit movie. Wyatt claims that it isn’t because the movie is balls-out stupid or anything like that, you guys. It’s still being prepped to begin production in 2016 and producer Simon Kinberg is already pushing for a Gambit, X-Men, and Deadpool crossover. Hold your ass, Kinberg. Get a damn director first.
Quoth the Wyatt:
“I was very much looking forward to working with my friend Channing and the team at Fox, but regrettably a push in the start date now conflicts with another project. I thank them for the opportunity, and I know that Gambit will make a terrific film.”
2. Liam Neeson is attached to a comedy-action flick called The Revenger, pitched by my long-time pretend boyfriends from The State, Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant. If I know my Lennon/Garant fuckery, I’ll bet that Neeson will be a man taking revenge on behalf of something exceedingly idiotic. Perhaps someone grabbed his Pumpkin Spice Latte by mistake and wouldn’t turn back and right the wrong. Therefore Neeson would be required to hunt that person down and revenge the shit right out of them.
See also: dick jokes, Lennon and Garant with a cameo as either priests or doctors, and someone farting.
3. Elizabeth Banks is in talks to direct a reboot of the Charlie’s Angels movie. Banks would be in charge of revitalizing the franchise or spinning it or whatever Hollywood phrase people use now. Here’s hoping Banks casts directly from her Pitch Perfect 2 roster and brings some Fat Amy to Charlie’s speakerphone. Speaking of which, Banks should play Effie Trinket playing Charlie.
4. I have no interest whatsoever in director Joe Wright’s upcoming Pan for many reasons I won’t get into here. If you have some interest then you may want to watch this featurette and mull over the 3D movie fad that won’t die.
5. Rob Zombie’s upcoming horror movie 31 features another group of his signature Horrible Characters That No One Likes Doing Despicable Things, Even For A Horror Movie. The flick’s premise is as follows:
31 follows five carnival workers who are kidnapped the night before Halloween and held hostage in a large secret compound known as Murder World.
Once there, they have 12 hours to survive a terrifying game called 31 in which ‘The Heads’- murderous maniacs dressed as clowns - are released to hunt them down and kill them.
One of 31’s murderous maniacs is Doom-Head (Richard Brake). Zombie is convinced that Doom-Head will be “…the next great villian of horror.” Agree to disagree, Mr. Zombie. Agree to disagree.