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Fundamentalist Conservatives Hate Hot Black Men

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | December 17, 2010 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | December 17, 2010 |

A fundamentalist group, Council of Conservative Citizens, has announced that they plan to boycott next summer’s Marvel Studios release Thor. Why? Isn’t it obvious? They feel threated by all the pretty. As they argue:

“Norse mythology gets multi-cultural remake in upcoming movie titled “Thor,” Marvel studios. It’s not enough that Marvel attacks conservatives values, now mythological Gods must be re-invented with black skin.”

“Marvel has viciously attacked the Tea Party movement, conservatives and European heritage. Now they have taken it one further, casting a black man as a Norse deity in their new movie Thor. Marvel has now inserted social engineering into European mythology.”

“It seems that Marvel Studios believes that white people should have nothing that is unique to themselves. An upcoming movie, based on the comic book Thor, will give the Aesir (the principal group of gods in Norse mythology) an insulting multi-cultural make-over.”

Insulting? My ass! Insulting would’ve been casting Chris Tucker. Looking around the Internet, images of Heimdall tend to look like this:


Idris Elba, who is playing Heimdall in Thor looks like this:


Looks like a hell of an upgrade to me. Idris Elba may the best thing to ever happen to their hillbilly Norse shithead with seed ticks in his beard. Hell, the only thing insulting about casting Elba is the way he insults the manhood of their White God.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.