You Like "Glee"? Have I Got Some Awful News for You, Then!
As November sweeps dies down now, and as we look ahead to a month or so of mostly reruns on network TV, Fox is unveiling its mid-season schedule. I’m actually looking forward to the network’s mid-season schedule this year more than most — in addition to “Lost” and the return of “Chuck” (holla!), “Parenthood” should be kicking off on NBC (with Nate Fisher and Lorelai Gilmore). Fox’s midseason schedule, by comparison, is mostly about one thing: “American (Fucking) Idol.” Surely, people will eventually tire of this reality show, but until then, spring schedules on all the networks still work themselves around “AI.”
The deets: “24” (ugh) returns with a two-hour premiere on January 25th (hey! It’s one of the ten best shows of the decade, according to THR, whose head apparently resides firmly in its ass (also, “Modern Family,” is on the list, which is an amazing show, but one of the 10 best, after 8 episodes? Brother, please). It’ll be paired with “House” on Mondays.
On Tuesdays, “American Idol” will lead in to the new Mark Burnett family-friendly reality show, “Our Little Genius,” which is a gameshow where 6-12 year old kids answer questions for cash — the catch? The parents can walk away at any time with what they’ve earned, or put their faith in their child to answer another question. Hey! No pressure.
Jesus Christ: That’s not going to ruin any childhoods at all. No sir. “Damnit, Timmy. You’d better fucking know who the first president of the United States is. Daddy’s got a coke habit he’s gotta feed.” “Our Little Genius” runs until April 13th, when “Glee” returns to the schedule.
Oh, and yeah: “Glee” is taking a four-month hiatus, from mid-December to April 13th.
Yeah. You heard me. A four-month hiatus. Mother frick. So Ryan Murphy can film that Julia Roberts movie, Eat, Pray, Love.
Wednesdays have “AI” followed by the new Mark Valley show, “Human Target” based on a DC Comics property. Thursday has both “Fringe” and Bones,” though “Fringe” will also be taking several months off for a run of a new procedural called “Past Life,” which investigates people’s past lives to find out about crimes committed today (yes, I’m serious).
Also, “Dollhouse” will finish its run in January, and another animated show, “Sons of Tuscon” will take over for “American Dad” in the Spring on Sundays.
Finally, on a semi-related now, for those of you who get discouraged every time you check the Nielson ratings and see it littered with “Two and a Half Men,” reality shows, and procedurals, you can take heart in this statistic (I guess): According to TV by the Numbers, “Glee” has the highest percentage of upscale viewers (those making $100,000 or more). And the rest of the top five is not bad, either: “30 Rock,” “The Office,” “Community,” and “60 Minutes.” So, even if you’re not someone who makes $100,000 plus each year, you can be all proud and self-satisfied that many of you share the same television tastes as the wealthy. Our televisions just aren’t as nice.
Dance and party! All night. And drink some cherry wine. Oh no.