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It's On Like Donkey Kong

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Industry | December 31, 2009 |

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Industry | December 31, 2009 |

Fox and Time Warner Cable are having a throw down tizzy to end the year, which is expected to culminate in all Fox stations going blank on Time Warner Cable at midnight this evening. The bad news is that Fox’s NFL coverage would be denied to 15 million homes if the dispute isn’t resolved by Sunday. The worse news is that Fox BCS coverage will go blank on New Year’s Day, the Orange, Fiesta and Sugar Bowls in particular. The worst news is that Fox News is handled under a separate contract and thus will keep broadcasting.

Here is the basic dispute:

Fox: We want more money.

Time Warner: No.

Fox: Aw hell naw.

Here is the more complicated dispute:

Fox: ESPN gets $4 per subscriber per month so we want that because we’re way cooler than them.

Time Warner: Suck it.

Fox: Dude, you pay $25 per subscriber per month and resell it for $60.

Time Warner: Suck it.

ABC: Fox is right, we want more money too.

Time Warner: Dude, we already pay out the ass for ESPN and you’re both owned by Disney, so why don’t you talk to Daddy Mickey before you whine at me.

ABC: But, um, um

Fox: Screw this, we’re taking our toys and going home.

Time Warner: Look, fine. Let’s just go to binding arbitration, let a judge work out.

Fox: Come on man, we really need the cash, the bottom dropped out of advertising and soon we’re going to have to ask Congress for money.

Time Warner: Suck it. Oh and we’re cc’ing John Kerry on everything now.

Fox: Aw hell naw!

(source: THR)

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Steven Lloyd Wilson is the sci-fi and history editor. You can email him here or follow him on Twitter.