For The Love Of Bea Arthur, Stop With This Sh*t And Do The Deadpool Movie, Reynolds!
Maybe you put it out of your mind or decided to stick to the “THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!” rule. Alas, the Highlander remake is still scuttling along, like a dog scratching its ass on your favorite rug. The big story is that another director has exited the project. Juan Carlos Fresnadillo (28 Weeks Later) has bid the project goodbye due to creative differences. I’m betting Fresnadillo didn’t want a Scottish dude playing Juan Sánchez Villa-Lobos Ramírez this time around.
That’s the news. However, the part I take umbrage with is that Ryan Reynolds is strongly rumored to star. Everyone else can stop reading here, because I need to have some words with Mr. Reynolds. I’ll give you a moment.
Mr. Reynolds. How are you? Me? I’m not so good. You see, I’ve been waiting for my Deadpool movie ever since The Wolverine Movie That Sucked Adamantium Dicks was released. You really screwed up my darling Merc With A Mouth in that cinematic shitstorm. You know this. We all know this. You need to make amends. You need to stop marrying vapid starlets with more boobs than talent, pass on all these other sub-par scripts, and get Deadpool into the theaters all proper-like. You need to do it soon. I only have so much patience and so many chimichangas before I lose my cool and start flipping tables, chairs, and puppies. I hope we understand each other, sir.