Courtesy of USA Today, Jon Favreau has released the first official image from Iron Man 2 and, for some reason, this passes as breaking news in the movie blogging world. Look around — all your favorite movie blogs are posting this picture. Why? Because we’re apparently marketing whores. Why spend $3 million on a Super Bowl spot when every fucking pop-culture blog in America is going to post your benign, meaningless photo from the set?
But hey! It’s Iron Man 2, and we’re all erect for it, aren’t we? Favreau even made a completely meaningless statement. Let’s salivate over it, why don’t we? “How many superheroes are open about their true identities?” he asks. “We wanted to play with that idea. But it obviously has consequences — in his relationships, on the team. There are a lot of areas we can explore.”
Oh wow! What could that possibly mean? I’ll let you folks do the heavy dissecting. I think it means, “We’re trying to get Fandango to start selling advance tickets one year in advance.”
Favreau also says, “It’s never easy with summer movies, but we’re trying to keep as much a surprise as possible.” Really? Here’s an idea: Don’t release an image from the set every other day. You don’t have to put out stuff just to keep us interested while you’re filming. We’re going to see the film. Everybody is going to see the film. It’s fucking Iron Man 2. Unless, of course, you give away the entire movie before its release, over a year from now.
Here’s that image. Take it to bed with you tonight. Fondle yourselves to fruition. And then sleep with it under your pillow.