For anyone who needs a refresher on Tom Hooper’s (The King Speech) big-screen adaptation of the musical, Les Miserables, let me just first re-affirm that, despite threats to the contrary, Taylor Swift was never actually cast in the film. The cast, as it stands now, is nevertheless all kinds of spectacular if you’re into A-ish list stars, many of whom are barely hanging on: Amanda Seyfried is Cosette; Hugh Jackman is Jean Valjean; Russell Crowe is Inspector Javert; Sasha Cohen Baron is Monsieur Thénardier; Helena Bonham Carter is Madame Thénardier; Anne Hathaway is Fantine; and Eddie Redmayne is Marius Pontmercy. Not that an all-star cast is in any way a indicator of box-office success. Do you remember the 1998 version with Liam Neeson, Geoffrey Rush, Claire Danes, and Uma Thurman? Of course you don’t. Nobody saw it (OK, smug theater nerds: Some of you saw it).
Anyway, filming has just begun on the film, and the first images of Hugh Jackman as Jean Valjean have arrived. This is what they’ve done to the poor man — they’ve maintained some semblance of faith to the source material! What’s wrong with them? It’s Hugh Jackman, mother fuckers. Couldn’t have at least been a homeless beggar who found a nicely pressed tuxedo still in its dry cleaner bag out behind a dumpster? Sometimes a man’s physique, beautiful hair, and impeccable jawline have to take priority over faithfulness to the source material.