In January of 2016 a new sort of cruise will take the seas. Now one might think, oh international waters, what an untapped market for a cruise with orgies, drugs, and broadcasts of Major League Baseball with only implied verbal consent. You’d be wrong. The untapped market is clearly to have theme cruises in which you pretend that a zombie apocalypse is going on. Because nothing says sun and fun like out of work actors in zombie make-up wandering down the halls after you while you pray for the dramamine to kick in.
Norwegian Cruise Lines is running the Miami to Bahamas trip and is calling it the “Walker Stalker Cruise”.
Here’s the advertisement video, which looks terrible. You’re welcome.
Some additional tidbits of information to convince you to part with several thousand dollars and be one of just 2200 other people with similar impulse control issues:
1. There’s no daycare, because otherwise someone might know where the hell Carl was at.
2. After five days of sea sickness and food poisoning, the zombie make-up will actually be superfluous.
3. Is really just an elaborate cover for Donald Trump to actually play the most dangerous game.
4. Scott Walker will be aboard because he thinks the “Walker Stalker Cruise” is his campaign bus. He is nonplussed by the zombies because he thinks this is what average people are like anyway.
5. In order to stay true to the show, only one black person is allowed on the ship at a time, so be sure to get your tickets extra early.
6. Most of the zombies are actually former passengers who got Mad Cow disease from the grease burgers and never left. This trip is a clever ploy to clean out the ship
7. Murdering someone pretending to be a zombie by shoving a pick through their eye is actually perfectly legal under international law because of some very odd legacy laws on the books involving piracy.
8. Norman Reedus will be aboard.
9. Wait, that last one is a good thing.
The cruise is already selling tickets on their website, so I don’t know why your’re still here other than vain hopes that Dustin has tallied the Pajiba 10 totals.