Holy crap, the Sci-Fi Channel has a semi-original idea. Sort of.
Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t bother reporting on an upcoming movie on this cheesiest of cheesy networks — yes, the Sci-Fi Channel (FINE. SyFy. GOD, that’s stupid) gave us the glorious “Battlestar Galactica,” but they’ve also given us countless other awful movies. If it’s got a giant fish or shark or beaver or beavershark or some sort of giant bug, SyFy has created a movie for it. I should know, I’ve seen almost all of them. Yep, that’s me. Never seen Shawshank, but I’ve seen Snakehead Terror and Boa Vs. Python — back to back, no less.
I digress, as is my wont. The point is, the network is shit. Their original movies are amusing in the way that watching a child take a soccer ball to the junk is amusing — namely, it’s funny, but other people look at you like you’re weird when you laugh. Oh, sure, I’m the asshole. If you’re gonna get mad at me, get mad at me for kicking the ball, not for laughing. The laughter is just an uncontrolled reaction. It’s science.
Where was I?
Right, the shittiness of SyFy Original movies. The point is, they’re dumb, and we don’t usually report on them. Well, we’re making an exception, and the reason can be summed up in two words:
Yep, the darling of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-A-Long Blog has a movie coming to the SyFy Channel, and it actually sounds somewhat interesting. A couple of weeks ago we reported that Twilight’s Catherine Hardwicke was set to direct a werewolfy Red Riding Hood adaptation called The Girl With the Red Riding Hood, and it would star Amanda Seyfried. Well, SyFy is nothing if not trendy, so they’ve got their own take on the subject…
According to Bloody Disgusting, the luminous Ms. Day will star in Red, where she’ll play a descendant of the original Riding Hood, whose family is actually a dedicated group of werewolf hunters. Of course, she will fall in love with one, and complications shall ensue. It’s sort of like Underworld, but hopefully less blue. And less shitty.
You know what? I changed my mind. That’s not original at all, really. Oh well. It’s a slow day. Plus, Felicia Day, y’all.
Oh, hell. Here’s something for your troubles: