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Gunsmoke, The Little Red Riding Hood, and Fatal Attraction

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | August 6, 2009 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | August 6, 2009 |

Welcome to another edition of the fastest-growing Internet sensation on the planet: Two Truths and a Lie, the feature that asks you how stupid Hollywood can get. Two days ago we debuted the feature with two truths: 1) Tom Arnold is reporting there is an unofficial remake of True Lies in development, with Schwarzenegger and James Cameron returning; 2) that Hugh Jackman has signed on to a musical about the life of P.T. Barnum, the circus dude. The lie? The Dark Crystal remake.

So how did our readers do? 63 percent picked the True Lies remake, and only 20 percent guessed that The Dark Crystal remake was false, once again proving that the truth is more absurd than the lie.

Today, we will increase the level of difficulty slightly and introduce three more projects, three of which are real, and another one which is false. You pick the made-up project.

A) Leonardo DiCaprio’s production company, Appian Way, has hired David Leslie Johnson (The Orphan) to develop a Gothic reimagining of the Little Red Riding Hood fairy tale for the big screen. No word on whether the reimagining will involve a wolf or a werewolf, or whether it will have a happy ending or grandmother will be eaten.

B) With a sequel to the 1987 Michael Douglas drama Wall Street already being developed by Oliver Stone (with Shia LaBeouf attached), Douglas’ other big hit that year, Fatal Attraction, is now getting a remake. Paramount is developing the remake of Adrian Lyne’s adultery film, and are expected to give it a modern meta-twist. It will revolve around a couple of high-profile 20-something celebrities whose marriage falls apart under the weight of an affair publicized in the tabloids. Sherry Lansing will produce.

C) Gregory Poirier, who wrote the National Treausure movies, has been hired to pen the script for a big-screen adaptation of the second longest-running show in primetime history: Gunsmoke. Craig Baumgarten, who produced Shattered Glass, is developing the project for CBS films. The movie will be a prequel to the show — an origins story about the characters. It’ll still be set in the Old West, but it will have a contemporary look and feel.

D) Guillermo Del Toro’s fairly outstanding Spanish-language horror-thriller, The Orphanage is getting an American remake. Del Toro has not only given it his blessing, but he’s producing it and co-writing the script. Actor/director Larry Fessenden is set to direct the remake, which comes just two years after the original film was released.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.