It was announced about a year ago that Adam Shankman would be directing the big-screen adaptation of the Broadway musical, Rock of Ages, a musical that features a lot of 80’s glam, like Bon Jovi, Styx, Twisted Sister, and Poison. There hasn’t been a lot of blood on the pavement in production yet, as presumably Shankman was too busy filming Zac Efron’s Pool Party to translate a long-form episode of “Glee” onto the silver screen.
The Hollywood Cog, however, brings us a few notes on casting possibilities that Shankman and New Line are currently mulling. There’s nothing at all concrete here; it’s still in the early stages, but the possibilities are too intriguing not to report. There’s no one yet lined up for the male lead — the role originated by “American Idol’s” Constantine Maroulis on Broadway — but apparently, there is some interest in casting Katy Perry as the female lead, a young wide-eyed beauty from Kansas who moves to LA to follow her dreams of becoming an actress (in other words, every Poison video cliche and, coincidentally, the same role that Christine Aguilera has in Burlesque, give or take a Midwestern state). There’s also some interest in Mary J. Blige taking the role of Justice, an older “sassy woman,” who is the owner of a gentleman’s club on the Sunset Strip. Don’t you just love that the racial stereotype is right there in the description?
The reported offers that have gone out, however, are the more intriguing possibilities here, as Will Ferrell has been solicited to play Dennis, an ex-rocker who still hangs on to his glory music and now owns a club on the Sunset Strip. So, basically, Frank the Tank with long hair. The other reported offer? Tom Cruise for the role of Stacee Jaxx, a bad-ass, obnoxious, 80’s-style sexy famous rock star in the height of his success with his band Arsenal.
That, folks, I’d honestly pay to see. Cruise is best when he’s obnoxious (see Magnolia) because it’s his natural state, and hair-band Tom Cruise would be flat-out fucking hilarious in what I can only imagine would be a glam version of Russell Brand’s Aldous Snow. Can he sing? Oh, who gives a shit? I’d give him ten career bonus points for just having the humility to take the role.