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EW Did a Hilariously Terrible Job of Not Spoiling 'Game of Thrones'

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | June 16, 2014 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | June 16, 2014 |

While I was looking for some post material this morning, I zipped over to Entertainment Weekly, and it’s a good thing I’d already seen last night’s Game of Thrones because if I hadn’t, it wouldn’t have been hard to piece together much of what had happened based on the headlines and images alone. Granted, I don’t particularly care about spoilers (in fact, I’ve learned to embrace them) and I figure with an episode as big as the Game of Thrones fourth-season finale, you have to expect to be spoiled if you even turn on your computer or smart phone in the morning. But I do know — THANKS COMMENTERS — that many of you loathe spoilers and would probably execute those who delivered them, if it were legal.

In that vein, I thought EW’s coverage was laughably bad for the way it spoiled plot points even while including the following line below the image: “Warning: The following contains spoilers about Sunday’s Game of Thrones season 4 finale…”

If you don’t want to be spoiled to last night’s finale, back on out, because here’s what the EW TV page looked like this morning:

Screen Shot 2014-06-16 at 9.10.06 AM.png

Hmmm. I WONDER who could’ve committed a murder last night? Maybe Tyrion? Maybe. MAYBE?

Screen Shot 2014-06-16 at 9.10.15 AM.png

I wonder who the “actress” in the brutal finale fight was? COULD IT HAVE BEEN THE WOMAN IN THE PICTURE? I guess Arya and Brienne of Tarth crossed paths, huh?

Screen Shot 2014-06-16 at 9.10.23 AM.png

Gee, could one of those finale twists have been that Arya gets on a boat and sails away? Funny, her constant companion for the past two seasons isn’t on the boat with her. I wonder what happened to him? I wonder if that brutal scene above has anything to do with the fact that she’s alone?

The most egregious headline/image spoiler, however, was a book-reader spoiler, alluding to THAT thing that all the book readers were waiting for that never arrived. Basically, EW gave it away.






Screen Shot 2014-06-16 at 9.09.11 AM.png

Hmm. Who is Lady Stoneheart? Whoever she is, she looks an AWFULLY like a zombie Caitlin Stark. Whatever could that be about?

To be fair, Lady Stoneheart is basically the worst kept secret on the Internet at this point. Book readers were so good about keeping the Red Wedding a secret for three seasons, but it’s been a lot more difficult to avoid spoilers since then. Granted, based on anecdotal evidence, book readers were also very good about keeping the Oberyn/Mountain secret, but most everything else (including and especially, the Purple Wedding) was practically common knowledge by non-book readers by the time those twists aired. As someone who works on the Internet but who does not necessarily seek out spoilers, the only surprise I’ve had all season was Brienne and The Hound’s fight, which I suspect wasn’t even in the book.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.