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You've Brought This on Yourselves, And I Will Never Forgive You

By TK Burton | Industry | February 17, 2010 |

By TK Burton | Industry | February 17, 2010 |

OK, here’s the deal. One of you fuckers is responsible for this. We’ve been ha-ha-ing, that’s-so-silly-ing this whole toy movie shit for too long, and of course, now some of your stupid jokes are coming to pass. I’ve told you that this shit is like Candyman — you say it too much and it starts to come true. But none of you dumbfuck jackasses listens to me. And now, what have we got?

Erector Set: The Movie.

No, I am not, in fact, fucking shitting you.

Helix Films has struck a deal with the Meccano Toy Company to bring a film based on goddamn Erector Sets to life. Oh, and it’ll be in 3-D. Oh, and fuck yourself. Because once we get done with the obvious dick jokes (because you people are you people, so of course there will be dick jokes. Also, I hate you), we’re left with just another dumb fucking idea. Oh, but wait, there’s more! Sayeth Charles Jaffe of Helix Films:

“The three partners of Helix Films all grew up playing with Erector Set toys but in different countries, so our partnership with Meccano is very personal, as well as exciting,” said Jaffe, who produced “Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country” and “Ghost.” “We believe the iconic Erector brand offers generational appeal with global reach.”

Bring me this man’s head. In a fucking bucket. Preferably with the eyes removed prior to said beheading.

MARRA!!!. That’s who it was. AND I FUCKING QUOTE, from the LEGO movie post on August 12, 2009:

Hungry hungry hippos:the movie
icebreakers: the movie
erector sets:the movie
polly pocket:the movie
pound puppies: the movie
that building robot from the movie “Big”: the movie
barrel of monkeys: the movie
pick-up sticks: the movie
mancala: the movie
40 hats for 40 cats: the movie
that game with the dice made of pigs that you throw on the ground: the movie

Posted by: Marra at August 12, 2009 10:58 AM

Damn you, woman. Damn you to hell. This shall be your punishment:

TK Burton is an Editorial Consultant. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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