Incredibly hot funny lady Elizabeth Banks — who is the rare feature actress who will stoop to television roles if they’re meaty comedically (see “Scrubs” and “30 Rock”) and who should also be about ten times more famous than she is — has signed on to the live-action romantic comedy, Tink. She’ll be playing Tinkerbell. Yes. That Tinkerbell. Besides the idea of Banks wearing a Tinkerbell costume, however, there’s not too much to get worked up over about the film. There’s little detail about the project, other than Disney plans to “play with the mischievous nature of the character” and that McG and Adam Shankman are producing, which is just about the worst possible scenario for developing a good movie, although it’s a pretty good formula for a successful one.
But more importantly, in reading the story, I saw that Elizabeth Banks’ husband was also producing. This is news to me because I actually had no clue that Banks’ was married. His name is Max Handelman. Why is this good news? Because Max Handelman looks like the absolute prototypical average Joe nerdy schlub. This is him:
Look at this, dudes: Elizabeth Banks is married to this guy! And before you get all, like, “Yeah, but he’s probably some super wealthy Hollywood mogul or something.” You’re wrong. Max Handelman is a sportswriter. And not just any sportswriter: His expertise is in fantasy football. He wrote a novel called Why Fantasy Football Matters (And Our Lives Do Not).
Are you kidding me? I play fantasy football. I’m an average Joe nerdy schlub. Handelman is a blogger. I’m a blogger. You see where I’m going here, guys? It’s too late for me, of course. Mrs. Pajiba-hyphenate has already stooped way below her class for me. But for the rest of you single nerdy schlubs: There is hope. His name is Max Handelman. He’s average looking. He wears really bad suits. He loves fantasy football. And he’s married to Elizabeth Banks.
And that, folks, is the American Dream.