Say what you will about Eli Roth (and you do), the man never rests upon his gory laurels. In the midst of producing Cotton and formulating his next two projects—Endangered Species, a sci-fi mass destruction flick, and Thanksgiving, a feature-length version of his Grindhouse faux-trailer—Roth also has designs on remaking Tobe Hooper’s 1982 flick, The Funhouse. Of course, this is sort of a non-news tidbit that’s buried towards the end of Fangoria’s recent two-part interview, during which Roth reimagines a more consistent version of The Funhouse:
“I’m talking with Universal about that one,” Roth reveals. “The Funhouse is a movie where the first half is brilliant—they set up these great characters—-and then they pay off none of them. You have Marco the Magician sawing his daughter in half, the brothers who run the carnival and the funhouse setting.
That initial set up sounds a lot like the halftime show at Roth’s very own bar mitzvah ceremony, but then he details a substantial diversion for the second half of the remake:
“And then it’s all about this weird mutant thing. It should be about the kids getting killed in horrible ways, put in different contraptions in the funhouse and the final girl being strapped into the ride and sent into the tunnels to be confronted by terrifying tableaux of her dead friends. A smart remake could be so much fun. Kill the kids in fabulous ways and continually reuse the bodies by making them freaks in the freak museum, sew their eyes shut, waxworks.”
Well, there are the unavoidable comparisons to the recent The House of Wax remake, but as long as Paris Hilton isn’t involved in Roth’s vision, a remake of The Funhouse should fare better in terms of dollars. Even if you don’t like his movies (though I gotta ask whether you’ve actually watched any of them), it’s hard to argue against a director who’s never lost money on a movie. Although, Roth does needs to saddle up and start directing one of these projects pretty soon, or some enterprising Palme d’Or director is gonna rope him into another acting gig.