Just as they released the first trailer for A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas, Yahoo! Movies has delivered a few more early X-Mas presents, and this time it’s in the form of mostly meh theatrical posters. Eight of them, to be exact, and below you will find them in order from the Best of a Bad Situation to Come the Fuck On, Seriously?. But before we get to that, in case you did miss the emotional roller coaster of a trailer, here it is:
And now, the posters (h/t /Film)…
1. Robbie the Robot offering a stoner’s Christmas themed delight with the ad copy “Get Baked” is basically everything I never knew I always wanted.
2. Danny Trejo should normally have the top spot reserved on for any list, and this poster gets some bonus points for revealing that Machete himself was even this movie, but still not enough to overcome the uninspired “Feliz Navidad” title.
3. Because NPH has no problem coming in third.
4/5. Harold and Kumar naturally tie right in the middle, which is where they belong. Though, Kumar should really go first, as Harold’s shotgun should be an elaborately designed bong. But I greatly enjoy symmetry.
6. What would a Christmas movie be without a real life Santa Claus, and look! His candy cane is extremely bong-like and he seems totally high, and the copy reads “High Holidays!” Get it? Hohoho, my ass, Chris Cringle.
7. I would have liked to put Jesus higher on the list, but the fact that neither he nor the question mark seem really sure whether he’s really Jesus or not, I just couldn’t live with myself for promoting a false idol.
8. First of all, babies are clearly the worst. Secondofly, babies in 3D are even worse. And third, babies who supercede Tom Lennon (from “The State” and “Reno 911”) are devils incarnate. Wait. If that’s a plot point in the movie, I’m going to have to completely re-order this list…
Until then, in order to get the horrible taste of baby out of your mouth, here’s three dudes holding phallic symbols in the main theatrical one-sheet for A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas:
Rob Payne also writes the indie comic The Unstoppable Force, tweets on the Twitter @RobOfWar, and studied RTVF (radio, television, film) in college. He really wishes all the promotional material for the new Harold and Kumar was exciting, as opposed to disheartening.