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Tower Of Suck Is More Like It

By TK Burton | Industry | October 14, 2010 |

By TK Burton | Industry | October 14, 2010 |

Ugh. I don’t have the strength for this nonsense.

Tower Heist, which has all the makings of being Ocean’s 11 For Morons, has a new cast member. As it stood previously, it’s being Ratnerfucked by a member of Pajiba’s Axis Of Evil, and will star Ben Stiller, who refuses to allow himself to become respected or respectable.

The film, for those who wisely drank their memory of the plot away, is about “a group of hard working guys find out they’ve fallen victim to a wealthy business man’s Ponzi scheme, they conspire to rob his high-rise residence. “ Yippee.

Anyway, according to The Playlist, Eddie Murphy has joined the cast. He will not be animated, but no word on whether or not he’ll wear a fat suit. Oddly, Tower Heist was originally written as a starring vehicle for Murphy way back when, and now he’s reduced to taking a supporting role. Weird.

By the way:

I hate you, Eddie Murphy. You were responsible for some of my favorite action-comedies of all time (Beverly Hills Cop and 48 Hours), and with the exception of your turn in Dreamgirls and Bowfinger, you’ve consistently and relentlessly shit the bed for the last decade-plus.

Fuck it, I’m gonna start drinking.

Here, to make up for this shitty post, here’s Bruce Willis on Zach Galifianakis’ “Between Two Ferns.”

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Bruce Willis from Bruce Willis

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TK Burton is the Editorial Director. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.