So some Australian site got hold of a purported copy of the Alien prequel script and the details are flying around the interwebs faster than a Christina Hendricks sex tape (if there was such a thing). And there may be something to the truth of these details since they’re disappearing faster than a Jon Hamm sex tape (if such a thing existed). To this extent, if I disappear or while you’re reading this, the words dematerialize or if Pajiba itself vanishes, you’ll know what happened. Hush, hush — even downtown voices carry.*
In case you read none of the previous paragraph, I must warn you that possible ****SPOILERS**** follow. Read at your own risk. Any digestion of information cannot be used against others or yourself. As with all spoilers, prior to ingestion get a physical and consult your doctor and as with any new information; this site is not responsible for possible side effects, adverse reaction, mental anguish or death.
According to rumors, the Alien prequel will revolve around the space jockeys — no surprise there. But here comes the funny stuff. The space jockeys are mind-controlling aliens called Growers and they travel around the solar system trying to transform and terraform the planets they visit and to breed both aliens and humans. And in an interesting bit of commentary, the Growers have a captive pair of human males who are forced (using mind control) to “engage in sexual activity.” This is it: all you über-conservatives, your worst nightmares are coming true. The gays are coming and we will all be turned gay! But please, don’t ask and don’t tell or you shall face immediate ejection from your home planet.
The final bit of spoilery goodness is that old friend, Lance Henriksen will make an appearance.
I’ve got to say that as bizarre as it sounds, I like it. My guess (I’ve never seen the Alien vs. Predator series, so correct me if they’ve already covered this ground) would be that Bishop’s appearance signals the involvement of some human overlord even earlier than we would have imagined. And maybe the Alien we knew as the original Queen was some gay human/alien hybrid. Regardless, these little tidbits are enough to entice me. I know there are plenty of you who are railing against this prequel, do these plot points make you feel any differently?
*Yes, I do know this is not the correct lyric.
(Note: The script referenced above actually leaked months ago, and now there’s a new draft written by Damon Lindeloff, which may or may not include mind control sex. But at some point, there was definitely mind control sex.).