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Do You Like Imagining This Man Being Double Penetrated? No? You're Still Welcome!

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | June 30, 2010 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | June 30, 2010 |

  • So, last night, Twilight: Eclipse broke every record imaginable on its way toward a $30 million haul for its midnight screenings. I include myself among those ticket sales. Let me tell you: The good thing about attending a multiplex with seven sold-out midnight screenings of a Twilight film? There’s no wait in the men’s restroom afterwards. The bad news: About an hour-long wait to get out of the parking lot.

    Sidenote: I was standing in line to buy some popcorn I was hoping to choke on before the movie began last night, and a father — a guy about 40 years old — turns around and, for no reason at all, offers me an unsolicited sympathetic high-five and says, “This is the worst, right?” I agreed, but I thought it was kind of presumptuous for him to think that I was obviously there against my will just because I’m a dude. Men watch terrible movies too, you know? (Associated Press)

  • Starz has officially cancelled “Party Down,” and I officially blame every one of you who didn’t watch the funniest show on the air. Or that was on the air. (Really: It’s hard to blame too many of you. Who owns Starz, anyway?) The good news is, you can still watch the show on Instant Netflix. And you should.

  • The 5th movie in the Final Destination series has a title now. And I’m not shitting you. This is what it is: 5NAL DESTINATION. That’s the sodomiest name ever. (Bloody Disgusting)

  • Damon Lindeloff has officially begun penning the sequel to Star Trek. In the end of the movie, Chris Pine meets William Shatner … oh, I’m too tired to follow through on a bad “Lost” joke. Please provide your own. (Slashfilm)

  • I don’t mean to sound like a complete asshole, but Harry Knowles’ review of Twilight gave me mental image that may never, ever go away, that of Knowles as “teenaged girl” getting a “diamond and doggy double dicking.” His words, not mine. I thought I’d share them with you. (Movieline)

  • Elijah Wood is moving to television. He’s signed on to the F/X comedy pilot “Wilfred,” which is “about a guy, the girl next door and a mixed-breed dog, Wilfred, who is part Labrador Retriever and part Russell Crowe on a bender.” What? (THR)

  • And speaking of LoTR actors, Andy Serkis is set to star as the main chimpanzee in Caesar, the Planet of the Apes prequel. (The Wrap)

    Pajiba After Dark 6/30/10 | Book Review: "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" by J.K. Rowling

    Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.