Game Time Is Pain Time, Baby! Wooooo!
Welcome again, folks, to another exciting edition of the fastest-growing quiz sensation on the World Wide Network of Computers, Dismay, Confusion and Pornography: Two Truths and a Lie. Today’s edition is sponsored by Bacon! (“It makes everything taste better!”) and by Reebok: “Game time is Pain Time.”
Here’s a word from our sponsor:
Before we get started on this week’s edition, allow me to bring you up to speed on our last game of Two Truths and a Lie. In that edition, you overwhelmingly chose the truth — a 3D version of Hamlet aimed at the Harry Potter crowd, in addition to an “American Idol” style audition of a Romeo and Juliet movie (55 percent) — over the lie: A Wedding Singer remake (34 percent). All but nine percent of you surmised that the Poltergeist remake is, in fact, the truth.
But before we move on to this week’s edition, here’s a bonus true or false question. True or False? Is this an actual story from the Associated Press, that honorable news organization that dates back to the mid 19th century:
NEW YORK - What would a President Spears administration be like? Apparently, very tasty.
Britney Spears appeared on David Letterman’s “Late Show” on Tuesday to deliver a Top Ten list of ways the country would be different if she were president.
“Free pie for everybody,” Spears declared.
For No. 10 on the list, Spears said she’d be “the first president since Nixon to wear eye shadow.”
The pop star appeared eager to show off her buff new body. She delivered the list in a bikini.
If you answered true, you’d be 100 percent correct. Print journalism! Rendering itself irrelevant since 2002. Catch the fever!
Now, finally, on to this week’s edition. I will give you three projects. Two are real. One I made up. Try to detect which one is the lie. Let’s begin:
A) Warner Bros. is remaking Outland, the 1981 sci-fi Western that starred Sean Connery as the sheriff on one of Jupiter’s moons. The new version expands on the take, and transplants the action to a city orbiting the moon. A cop — a week away from retirement — has to decide whether to investigate a murderous conspiracy with his crazy ex-partner or returning to Earth with his wife.
B) Eighteen years after the original, and 14 since the sequel, Steve Martin and Diane Keaton are teaming up again for a third Father of the Bride movie. The third film will center on a Banks’ family island vacation, where George and Nina plan to renew their vows. Charles Shyer will return to direct.
C) Now that a Fame remake is a few weeks away from release, Lionsgate is remaking Dirty Dancing, the 80’s film that starred Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey. Details are scant, but Julia Dahl (Uptown Girls) has been hired to update the script.