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If You Can't Spot the Sucker in the First Half Hour at the Table, Then You ARE the Sucker.

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | June 16, 2009 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | June 16, 2009 |

You ever met a poker dork? I mean: A poker dork that’s so dorky that he actually proudly refers to himself as a poker dork? These people are completely socially retarded. And while it’s odd for some of our readers, who have to explain to their real-life friends the “internet friends” they make at a site like this, try explaining your online poker buddies to your real-life friends. Online poker addicts live in a different world — a virtual place where the play one another for each other’s money while occasionally fostering friendships onlien with other online poker players. In the hierarchy of social awkwardness, poker dorks actually fall about 52 rungs below comic-book geeks. At least comic-book geeks want to get laid. Poker dorks just dream about bad beats and fantasize about female avatars. If you’re an online poker addict, it suggests to me that you’ve basically given up on life.

Anyway, Brian Koppelman and David Levien, the dudes who wrote the script for Rounders (a sadly unappreciated movie), are sticking to what they know. They’ve written a script in the world of online casinos. And it’s apparently good enough to attract Leonardo DiCaprio, who has just signed on to star.

Nothing else is know about the movie — no director has been attached, and no plot details we’re given. My suspicion? They’re just going to film DiCaprio sitting in front of the computer in his underwear playing online poker for two hours.

You watch: People will pay to see it.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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