Delivering Sh*tty News With a Smile and an Exclamation Mark!
Look at all of these things that have happened since my last whippits post, 12 hours ago! Hold on to your junk, people. We got news that’s not good enough to warrant its own post coming at you!
Fox’s “The Cleveland Show” has been renewed for a third season, or two seasons more than “Freaks and Geeks” and “Firefly.” Fantastic! (Deadline)
After breaking our hearts a few weeks ago and stating that Skids and Mudflap won’t be back for Transformers 3, Michael Bay has come out with a defiant, “They’re basically gone.” Basically doesn’t mean completely! Oh, joy of joy! My heart’s about to burst wide open. Welcome back, our racist friends! (USA Today)
Splice director Vincenzo Natali has been announced as the director of the upcoming movie based on William Gibson’s Neuromancer. Woah. That’s good news. How’s that get in here. Apologies. (FirstShowing)
Jonathan Liebesman (Darkness Falls, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning) is apparently now the top contender to direct Clash of the Titans 2. Awesome! Shitty director for a shitty sequel to a shitty movie! Yesssss! (LAT)
The Battleship movie has officially been moved one week earlier, from May 25th to May 18th, 2012. Reset your countdown clocks! Clear your calendars. I’m sleeping out for tickets, kids! (Slashfilm)
It’s confirmed! Geoffrey Rush will return for Pirates of the Caribbean 4. Hooray for good actors appearing in bad sequels! (Variety)
It’s official! Twilight: Breaking Dawn has been broken up into two movies. That’s twice the awesomeness. And twice the amount of money we get to spend to watch Edward break open Bella! The first Breaking Dawn movie will be out on November 18, 2011. November 19, 2011 is when I start sleeping outside, waiting for Battleship tickets to go on sale. Me first! Me first!
Jennifer Garner and Nick Nolte are in talks to join Russell Brand in the unnecessary remake of Dudley Moore’s Arthur! Yay for unnecessary remakes! (Variety)
Finally, Olivia Munn made her debut on “The Daily Show” the other night, and despite the fact that she was awful, the segment turned into an orgy of awesomeness, thanks mostly to the other correspondents.