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Commence Geekgasm!

By TK Burton | Industry | July 21, 2009 |

By TK Burton | Industry | July 21, 2009 |

Well, well, well. Looks like DC is done fucking around, and is taking a shot at competing with the current Marvel juggernaut (see what I did there? Oh, shut up). Not content with the ridiculous, super-mega success of it’s current Batman franchise reborn by Christopher Nolan, they’re optioning properties left and right in an effort to compete with the upcoming slate of Marvel Avengers-related movies. We’re already pretty sure… or pretty hopeful, anyway… that Nolan will give us another Batman movie after he’s done with Inception. Interestingly, they’re avoiding much of the superhero fare (other than Green Lantern), in favor of some of their more hard boiled stuff. Also, possibly because the DC universe is incredibly, impossibly convoluted.

They’ve got some heavyweight talent assigned to some of them, too, according to a summary on THR

jonah_hex_comic_book_movie_james_brolin.jpgJonah Hex, already wrapped, starring Josh Brolin (sweet!) as the titular Hex, as well as Megan Fox (balls!) and John Malkovich (sweet!). Warner Brothers is the one who is potentially fucking this one up. I love Brolin, and he may well be perfectly cast, but the presence of Fox scares the fucking hell out of me. I’ll see just how bad Jennifer’s Body ends up being before I let Meganfoxitis dampen my enthusiasm.

flash.gifWarner Brothers is also producing The Green Lantern, which we covered to pieces last week after the casting of Pajiba panty-moistener Ryan Reynolds. The Flash is also in development, though it’s been wading through the development swamp for years now, as has Teen Titans — though thankfully, they’ve taken that one away from the grubby mitts of the sucktastical Akiva Goldsman. Whether this means they’ll eventually make their way to a Justice League movie is unknown, but honestly, with Nolan’s Batman rooted relatively firmly in a real, non-superpowered world, it seems unlikely. But you never know.

human_target_comic_book_cover_slice_01.jpgFox picked up “Human Target” for a Fall TV series. “Human Target” is the story of a P.I./bodyguard who impersonates his clients to help protect them. Despite the presence of Chi McBride and Jackie Earle Haley, this is likely going to blow donkeys. Why? Because a) it’s Fox, and there’s nothing they can’t fuck up. Also, b) it’s being produced by Simon West of Con Air infamy. I dunno. Check out the promo trailer and see what you think. It’s got potential, but it also has “Crappy TNT-esque series” written all over it.

I give it one season. Unless it’s really, really good. Then I give it ten episodes. Fuck off and die, Fox.

red-comic-ellis.jpgFinally, Twilight/Summit Pictures is producing Red, about a black ops retiree who gets forced out of retirement. It was a 2003 mini series written by Warren Ellis, which means it’s better and less derivative than it sounds. Morgan Freeman and Bruce Willis have been cast. Huh. Morgan Freeman’s making quite the name for himself with the genre pictures, particularly after Wanted. Bruce Willis, despite being kind of a douche, can still carry a picture, so there’s promise there.

Discuss, my glorious nerd army!

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TK Burton is an Editorial Consultant. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.