Exclusive: DC Comics Developing Another Dumb Comic Book Movie
I’m gonna try real hard to muster up some give-a-shit for this news item, which comes from our winsome and witty super-duper secret inside source, The Hollywood Cog, who tells me that Warner Brothers and DC Comics are developing a big-screen version of Hawkman.
Ah yes — when Hollywood starts tackling the fringe elements of the Super Friends, you know we’re in trouble. I don’t know a lot about Hawkman, beyond the fact that he’s not a particularly cool-looking superhero, but were DC to try to take Hawkman in a direction similar to what Marvel is doing with Thor, I could see Adrien Brody in the role.
For the unfamiliar (like myself), Hawkman uses archaic weaponry and large artificial wings attached by a harness made of the Nth metal that allows for flight. Most incarnations of Hawkman work closely with a partner slash romantic interest, Hawkgirl or Hawkwoman in his fight against supervillians, though I could not tell you who Hawkman’s arch-nemesis is. Probably Country Farm Mouse Man.
Warners is looking to make Hawkman a tentpole franchise, and describes the movie as part Indiana Jones, part Da Vinci Code and part Ghost, which makes absolutely no sense to me — I have no idea what three elements of those movies you could combine to make a superhero movie about a man with strap-on wings who uses maces and spears, and who probably squawks at his enemies like a goddamn ninny. *Squawk*
Not so coincidentally, I suspect, Hawkman will also be making an appearance in a two-hour episode of “Smallville” this February — he’s set to be played by Michael Shanks. Perhaps, DC is using “Smallville” to test interest in the character before moving ahead on development of Hawkman, which is currently out to writers. Will Hackner at DC Comics is running point on the big-screen version.
Let’s hope this one never gets any farther than Aquaman — in fact, perhaps Aquaman and Hawkman can battle it out in development hell for all of eternity.