First of all, here’s the shortest review I’ve ever written: DC Animated released their next direct-to-DVD movie this week, All-Star Superman. I was planning to give it a full review, because we all know I loves me some DC animated fare. There’s just one teensy problem: It’s boring. It hurts me to say it, but it was so dull I couldn’t even finish it. They completely shit the bed on this one — it’s painfully slow, the animation was clunky, and it features some of the most uninspired voice acting they’ve ever had (not even the voice of Christina Hendricks as Lois Lane could save it). And believe me, I adored Grant Morrison’s comic book series of the same name. Somehow they took all of that heartfelt, riveting drama and drained the life from it. There’s my review for you. I can only hope something better comes out of the upcoming Green Lantern: Emerald Knights.
Next up, is apparently the US is getting in on the nonexistent Space Battleship Yamato craze (via Slashfilm). That’s not entirely true — there is a craze. They love it in Japan, and several Americans (myself included) are big fans of the old anime series. Anyway, apparently Christopher McQuarrie (The Usual Suspects) has been hired to write script under its Americanized name, Star Blazers. It’ll be a live-action film. Which is weird, of course, because Japan is busy completing their own live-action film. Remember this piece that Steven wrote? Here’s the balls-crazy trailer for it:
Rutger Hauer is busy these days, and that pleases me. Ever since his quick but enjoyable role in Batman Begins, I’ve been hoping to see more of him. And here he comes, in all the weird-ass movies that you can shake a stick at. He’s already starring in the grindhouse piece of insanity that is Hobo With A Shotgun. Next, he’ll play Van Helsing in Dario Argento’s Dracula 3D. While I’m not thrilled about that 3d tacked on there, Argento always has me intrigued,
Finally, although it pains me to post this, it’s worth posting, I suppose. The painful part is that it’s essentially a five-minute commercial for Nike starring (grits teeth) Kobe Bryant. But, it’s directed by Robert Rodriguez, and co-stars Danny Trejo, Kanye West, Bruce Willis, And Tommy ‘Tiny’ Lister. It’s mildly amusing.
Fuckin’ Kobe, man.