Oy. Halle Berry. I can never tell if she’s actually a good actress or not. I mean, she’s got some winners on her side — Monster’s Ball and Bullworth come to mind (much as I love the first two X-Men movies, she’s easily the worst part in them), and then she’s got some full-blown fucking disasters. Gothika, anyone? Or how about that bit of cinematic vomitus known as Catwoman? Yikes.
Anyway, she’s going down the action movie road — she’s apparently in “advanced talks” (ah, Variety) to star in Dark Tide, which “concerns a diving instructor who returns to the deep after a near-fatal incident with a great white shark.” Now, I love pretty much any shark movie, be it Jaws or Megalodon or, you know, that other recent DTV pile of shit. And it’s set to film in South Africa, which is a) my homeland, and b) the site of some serious, no shit, bite-your-mother-fucking-head-off great white sharks. South Africa actually has one of the more thriving Carcharodon Carcharias populations in the world, coupled with an alarming number of shark attacks — one reason Mrs. TK refuses to enter the water whenever we go there.
I digress. Anyway, Halle Berry will be in a shark movie. Which means Halle Berry in a bathing suit, which I call a win. On the other hand, it’s also to be directed by Clark Johnson, whose major film directorial credit is the abysmal S.W.A.T. Though he did direct a few episodes of “The Wire,” which moves him up in my cool book.
Basically, I’m saying that I have no idea how this will be. But as with most movie news, I’m not hopeful. Curious, maybe. Oh hell, let me make it up to you — call this a preview: