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Edward Needleteeth

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Industry | December 8, 2009 |

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Industry | December 8, 2009 |

Oh little Robbie Pattinson, Johnny Depp decided he’s going to mount your sub-genre and put it away sore. So back in the 1960s there was a supernatural soap opera called “Dark Shadows,” which aired over 1200 episodes and featured all sorts of trappings of fantastic fiction: time travel, vampires, ghosts, werewolves, low production values. By all accounts it was a lot like “Passions” except without an evil midget and the whole shitballs retarded angle.

Naturally, because his name is absolutely synonymous with soap operas, Tim Burton is picking up a film remake of “Dark Shadows” as his next project, starring Johnny Depp as the vampire Barnabas. Depp reportedly was obsessed by “Dark Shadows” as a child, and I hope he doesn’t mean in the same way that I was obsessed with “Days of Our Lives” at age thirteen, when I would watch it everyday while I did homework, feverishly craving the occasional shower scene. Of course if that is what he meant, we might get a bunch of shower scenes, so it’s really win-win.

Also, producer Graham King insists that the film will be something of a response to the Twilight phenomenon. So if Twilight has been good for nothing else (and it hasn’t been), it is responsible in part for giving us Johnny Depp as a vampire.

According to SlashFilm, filming is set to begin in fall of 2010.

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Steven Lloyd Wilson is the sci-fi and history editor. You can email him here or follow him on Twitter.