In an effort to spice up the increasing inanity of studio projects; highlight just how stupid some of the remakes, sequels, and reboots sound; and bring a level of participation to the trade news, I’m going to introduce a “Two Truths and a Lie” feature to our roster of time-killers. It’s simple: I will describe three projects; two of them will be true, one of them I will make up. You try to figure out which one is made up (and if anyone can find a better place to create polls, I’m all ears. These are ugly).
Here are your three trade items:
A. Universal Pictures, which owns the theatrical distribution rights to the 1982’s Dark Crystal, is working with the Jim Henson company in an effort to remake the movie as a 3D CGI pic for a potential tentpole release in 2012. Jonathon Aibel and Glen Berger (Kung Fu Panda, “King of the Hill,”) have been hired to update the script, which is expected to add environmental themes. Carolynne Cunningham, who served as the first assistant director on the three Lord of the Rings films and King Kong, is being eyed to direct.
B. According to Tom Arnold, who was quoted in The New York Times, there is an unofficial sequel of True Lies in the works, which will bring back all three principals: Tom Arnold, Arnold Schwarzenegger. and James Cameron. According to Arnold, “All I know is Jim Cameron’s making it and Arnold and I are going to be in it, and it starts shooting in 14 months, the day after Arnold stops being governor of California.”
C. Hugh Jackman has signed on to play P.T. Barnum is a musical about the Barnum and Bailey circus called, The Greatest Show on Earth. The project is an outgrowth of Jackman’s work as host on the Academy Awards. In fact, the role of Jenny Lind — who P.T. Barnum was infatuated with — is being written for Anne Hathaway, based on the chemistry between Jackman and Hathaway at the awards ceremony.
(The answer: A is false. There is no Dark Crystal remake in the works (although, yes, there is a sequel of sorts in development, though it may never see the light of day). B is kind of a trick answer. Tom Arnold did, in fact, say that in The New York Times, but it’s not like a lot of folks are giving the statement a lot of credibility. There may be an unofficial sequel to True Lies, but so far as anyone knows, it’s only in Tom Arnold’s head.)