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Barton Fink's Getting Old, Sweet Valley High Never Ages, and Mulder Never Dies

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | September 23, 2009 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | September 23, 2009 |

Welcome back, folks, to another exciting edition of Two Truths and a Lie, the fastest growing Internet sensation on the planet. Period. Today’s Two Truths and a Lie is sponsored by “Modern Family,” Wednesdays, 9pm on ABC.

It’s been quite some time since our last edition of Two Truths and a Lie, but in it, 58 percent of you all chose the lie, which was a television show described as a cross between “Glee” and “The Office.” That’ll teach me to come up with a decent idea as the lie — you folks always see right through that. Savvy, cynical motherfuckers. The two truths: An “L Word” reality show on Showtime and a Teen Wolf TV Series on MTV.


Onto the next edition. I’ll give you three projects, you determine which one I made up.

A) The Coen Brothers, who have A Serious Man coming into theaters next month, are talking up a sequel to Barton Fink called Old Fink. It picks up in 1967, where Barton Fink is dealing with the fact that he ratted out a lot of his friends to the House Un-American Activities committee. However, they are holding off on the project until John Turtorro is old enough to play the part.

B) Although another X-Files sequel has not been ruled out, David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, in the meantime, are reuniting for a metafictional detective comedy loosely based on The Gourmet Detective, a Southern California dinner theater murder mystery. In the film — a suburban satire — someone actually dies during the dinner, leaving the suburban couple (Duchovny/Anderson) to solve the actual mystery.

C) A big-screen adaptation of Sweet Valley High is in the works. Universal has picked up the rights to the series, which centered on the lives of two teenage girls, Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield, who lived in the fictional town of Sweet Valley, California.The big surprise, however, is that Diablo Cody — the Queen of menstruation references — has been brought in to write the script.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.