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'Client List' Cancelled After Cliffhanger, Internet Riots

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Industry | November 4, 2013 |

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Industry | November 4, 2013 |

Despite the gritty and realistic premise of a middle-class prostitute who runs her own massage parlor in the suburbs and serves an exclusive clientele of sensitive men with defined enough abs to work as Liberace’s houseboy, Lifetime’s The Client List has been taken back behind the brothel and put down, presumably because the weight of its potential Emmys were already causing the network’s shelves to buckle.

This no doubt puts a hole in many of your Sunday night viewing schedules, as The Client List was an anchor on one of the strongest nights of television. Literally, it was an iron chain that dragged you down into the cold blackness.

But the best part of all this has been the Internet reaction to it. See, there were apparently a couple dozen people who actually watched the show, and they are now having their Firefly moment of rage and fury.

To top it off, the show’s second season ended in a cliffhanger in which Jennifer Love Hewitt (please, I am not looking up her character’s name, I’m on enough state department watch lists already), burned down her massage parlor to throw off the cops, possibly murdering someone, and apparently the two potential Mr. Suburban Hookers in her life confronted her as the sirens neared. “I can explain” she said. And cut. Forever.

Oh and Lifetime has cited Hewitt’s repeated demands that her boyfriend have a bigger role on the show as the final straw.

Hmm. Now that Hewitt is out of work, I think that there is only one logical strategy left to her. She opens a real suburban brothel and pitches it for a reality television deal. I’m sure the History Channel will pick it up.

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Steven Lloyd Wilson is the sci-fi and history editor. You can email him here or follow him on Twitter.