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Well, It's Not Thirty-Seven

By Brian Prisco | Industry | March 10, 2010 |

By Brian Prisco | Industry | March 10, 2010 |

The power combo of Anna Faris and Chris Evans are set to bring the bound-to-be-raucous R-rated What’s Your Number? to the big screen this summer. In the screenplay, written by Karyn Bosnak and based on her book “20 Times a Lady,” Faris plays a young woman who decides she’s destined to meet her perfect mate after she sleeps with a maximum of exactly 20 dudes. She wakes up in bed with her boss — I’ve been there, but does it really count as an affair if you’re spooning in bed with seven or eight writers for a website? — and realize she’s clocked in at lucky number double diaz. So then she goes back through all the dudes she hooked up in her past with trying to find her perfect mate. Hijinks and herpes zingers ensue.

This is like wearing a steak into the shark tank, eh? Thank God Dustin chose the sensitive and caring male of the site to report this news. I mean, this premise is 70 times 7 ways stupider than fuck, but what rom com premise isn’t? My fav movie of all time is based on a guy trying to prevent his ex from erasing the memories of their relationship from his head. Chances are this is gonna suck like Dante’s girlfriend and go down like Dante’s girlfriend and totally fuck a dead pervert like his ex. Faris is funny, but I much prefer her as sidekick to showpiece, and Evans….well, at least he seems to remember all his lines.

I’m just gonna sit back and watch you all tear each other asunder over the magic number 20 there. Is that a wildly huge number or a wildly conservative one? I’ll pull the pin on the old slut grenade now, but I’ve always seen that word bandied around as a weapon by teenagers rather than an accurate portrayal. For me the truth’s always been scribbled on a bathroom stall: A Slut is a girl who’ll fuck anybody. A Bitch is a girl who’ll fuck anybody but me.

You guys debate feminism.

In other interweb prattlings re: Chris Evans, as TK reported earlier, he’s being considered for the role of Captain America along with Garrett Hedlund and probably some more CW tartthrobs. You know, I kind of dug his Flame On dude. But as Cap? Pass. Frankly, I like Krasinki over everyone, but he’s dropped out. And that only leaves us with one logical choice. William Goss.

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